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Sometimes the changed usage of a label empowers groups of people, such as the embracing of the word "queer" by some lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. Being able to describe oneself with a word or term that is shared with others can help an individual form a community with people who might have similar experiences. While labels are limiting, they can also be useful or even liberating sometimes.
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It appears that you've been thinking about this a lot, and though you profess that you don't like labels, you still find yourself searching for one. There does not seem to be a term that fits exactly how you describe (yet!), but you might find it satisfying to come up with a term or short description of how you identify that you can use when you’d like. For example, although some consider pansexuality to mean sexual expression of all kinds, as you explained, others define pansexuality to mean the attraction to a person regardless of where they stand on the gender or sexuality spectrum. Even some of the specific terms you mentioned are defined quite differently by different individuals who identify by them. For some of us, the fit doesn't seem to really work, and many times this insistence on a clear-cut, one-word label can actually prevent us from getting to know each other as the multi-faceted individuals we are. We live in a society that, unfortunately, likes to put people in boxes with simple labels: gay, bisexual, black, white, etc.